Becoming a PhD

On June 11, 2013 I received official notice that I’d graduated from university with a PhD in Human and Organizational Systems, thus ending the doctoral journey that began in the fall of 2007. I hadn’t anticipated the journey to take this long but life has a funny way of forcing you to pause, often when it’s least convenient. The bumps in the road, however, are not the focus of this blog. Instead, I want to focus on the unexpected turns life can take and the untapped potential that can be missed when we define ourselves, or view our clients, from just one perspective.

When I was a little girl I dreamed of being a ballerina. I started dancing when I was 3 and never looked back. I performed in countless recitals, progressed through the Royal Academy of Dancing’s examination system, and entered a half day professional program that allowed me to attend high school half time while furthering my dancing career. Needless to say, high school was something I had to do, not something I wanted to do. None of the subjects were relevant for my chosen profession – ballerinas rarely have to calculate the square root of anything. Lack of relevance led to lack interest, then to lack of effort. In turn, this led to poor grades and the firm belief that I wasn’t smart. If ballet didn’t work out, I was in big trouble! Of course, like thousands of little girls with big dreams, ballet didn’t work out. Near the end of grade 12, the bloom had firmly fallen off the rose. For a wide variety of reasons, I knew ballet wasn’t a fit for me . . . it wasn’t an environment in which I could thrive and, therefore, be successful. But if I wasn’t “the dancer” then who was I? I’d rarely paid much attention in school, was lucky to graduate, had a belief that further education was completely out of the question, and had no clue of what to do next. At the time, the future seemed quite bleak.

Fast forward to today and I find myself among a small contingent of individuals with PhDs, am a leader in my field, and just finished some pivotal research around what factors help individuals maximize their career engagement. So, what changed? How was I able to re-write my belief system, create a new identity, and find hope? Honestly, I’m still not sure how it all happened but can recognize now, what I couldn’t then . . . whether I wanted it to or not, ballet had left an indelible mark on my soul. It taught me life lessons that helped me to grieve the loss of my future, my “self” as I knew me, and move on. Things like determination, dedication, perseverance, and passion . . . with a good dose of stubbornness and perfectionism thrown in for good measure.

I distinctly remember people encouraging me to frame a future attached to the “dancer” identity. As if, somehow, all those years would be wasted if I didn’t do something related to dance. “Why don’t you teach?” was a common question and I did give it a try, finding it really wasn’t for me. Others saw me from a different perspective – through my lacklustre academic performance, believing that I had sabotaged my future by not doing better in school.

My story, however, is not unique. There are countless young musicians, hockey players, dancers, and singers who dedicated their youth to pursuing their passion, not caring about academic performance, then finding themselves unable to “move up” and uncertain how to “move on.” As CDPs we may see these clients after, perhaps, becoming young parents, hopping from job to job, or dropping out of college. I’m reminded of the teenage mother who had once been on the fast track to Olympic stardom in figure skating and the young man who, after an injury sidelined an incredibly promising tennis career developed a problem with addiction; both of these people were defined by this new life, with their counsellors not realizing or recognizing the highly skilled individuals they still were, underneath their current circumstances. 

 

I realize our time with clients is often short but it is important to take the time to consider your clients’ stories – what their journeys to your office have entailed and the skills and personal strengths they’ve developed along the way. Focus beyond the skills developed in work or school to consider how the full range of life activities has influenced the individual sitting in front of you today.

To Grow is to Change . . .

"To grow is to change, and to have changed often is to have grown much." - Cardinal Newman

This is one of my favourite quotes . . . I have it in my e-mail signature line and framed on my bookshelf. I love change, I’ve changed often, and I continue to grow much (in more dimensions than I’d prefer, at times!). That said, change can be exhausting!

Did you know that there’s a cumulative effect from change? Psychiatrists Holmes and Rahe developed the Stress Scale, a tool that ranks life changes according to the amount of stress they are believed to bring. Although stressors don’t impact everyone in exactly the same way, this scale can be a useful starting point to see if your stress levels are creeping into the danger zone (I don’t think mine have ever been out of the danger zone since I entered adulthood – so other important things to measure are coping resources and resiliency; luckily, I’m blessed with high scores for both of them, too!).

Continuous, relentless stress, though, can lead to burnout. If, like me, your work and life bring constant changes, ensure that you’re adding in extra de-stressing moments to compensate. Gerry and I are about to leave on my 12th trip in the past 6 months. We’ve actually gone through more toothpaste in our travel bag this year than in our bathroom at home! We both love travel . . . but there’s no denying that it’s stressful. Therefore, we try to add on a few days to each trip that are just for us – to visit friends or family, tour the local area, or simply have time with no agenda other than to recover from jet lag, get adjusted to the climate, and find our way around the local neighbourhood.

Psychologist Nancy Schlossberg developed a 4S model to explain individual differences in coping with transitions (the process that accompanies life changes). She found that one’s Situation, Self, Support, and Strategies together impact how people respond to exactly the same event (or non-event – an anticipated event that doesn’t happen, such as a missed promotion or a broken relationship prior to a marriage). For example, as I contemplate re-packing the suitcase that I just unpacked a few days ago, although I’m definitely tired of travel right now (and looking forward to a summer in my own garden), I recognize that my Situation is very privileged in that I get to choose whether or not to travel and have incredible flexibility in deciding how long to be away. In terms of my “Self” – I’m healthy, very comfortable travelling, fascinated with different cultures, insatiably curious, and able to quickly convert a hotel room into a temporary home. Because Gerry travels with me, I have the same Support as when I’m home; I’m also blessed with an amazing team at Life Strategies who have become quite used to working with me through MSN chat and e-mail. In terms of Strategies, we’ve booked our flights so that we arrive a few days before the conference, and then spend a few days on vacation before returning home.

As you reflect on your own change, growth, transitions, and related stress, consider how to minimize the negative impacts of change and strengthen your resiliency and coping resources – both strategies can be effective.

Can You Choose the Perfect Career?

Many high school and even college students feel the pressure of deciding what to do with the rest of their lives. They may have dreams of a six figure salary and a job they absolutely love, but how do they get there from here?

Once a decision is made many people will find life getting in the way of their career goals; many people start their careers with high aspirations and find that financial or family obligations result in a shift in career focus. Lots of current career development theories (e.g., Happenstance, Chaos) acknowledge the impact of unexpected life events.

I have learned over time, and by trial and error, that circumstances have often dictated my career options. Another career theorist, Linda Gottfredson, acknowledged limits on career opportunities (she called this “circumscription”) and the compromises that people make as they juggle work with their other life roles. My folks believed that if I wanted a university education I would have to fund it myself. As a single mom I found myself having to support a family on very little income. Have I made poor career choices over the years? Absolutely! However I have also had some wonderful career opportunities.

In my musings about my meandering career path I’ve come to understand that it wasn’t reasonable for me to expect the perfect job. It has been about deciding on the most important things in my life and working from that point. For much of my working life my family has been the centre of my life and my jobs had to fit. In fact, my education was completed at a community college in alternating years with having children. I then I ran a home-based business when my children were very young.

Years later, as an Executive Director, I interviewed scores of applicants for a variety of positions. I met a few young people with clear career goals and enough enthusiasm and drive to ensure career success; however, most were like me...doing what it takes to get the job done, whatever that job may be for that particular person. That sounds an awful lot like career success to me! Life Strategies can help you navigate your career path. Call 604-856-2386 for more information.

Winter Wonderland? How to Prepare for Snow Days

In British Columbia we’ve just recently received our first snow fall which has covered our roads making the commute into work a potentially dangerous time. Snow-covered, icy roads can present a barrier for many in keeping business going as usual however, by providing employees with a “snow day plan” you can help keep them safe and the company productive.

Here are some helpful tips to implement your winter commute program:

Plan Ahead
Don’t let employees become anxious over the snowfall by neglecting to plan ahead. Make sure you address “snow day protocol” before the first snowfall of the season. Look at the weather forecast and address concerns in advance.

Get the Message Out
There are many options for spreading the word such as posting snow plans on your internal company website and lunch rooms or other common spaces; utilizing email broadcasts; addressing procedures during team meetings; and having a contact network or phone line with “snow day updates.” The best way to get the message out will depend on your organization’s structure/size and the communication tools available. If you are having trouble deciding on the best method, ask your employees for suggestions. Use multiple methods if necessary.

Emphasize Safety
The main reason for planning for snow days is to ensure the safety of your company’s number one asset: the people. Ensure to communicate this message clearly to employees.

Provide Work Alternatives
If you’re able to, provide staff with work alternatives so that they won’t get behind and won’t feel pressured to come into the office on dangerous roads. If employees work on laptops, these can be brought home the night prior to an expected snowfall. By providing databases which can be accessed from a distance this will ensure little disruption. If staff doesn’t use computers, cannot bring laptops home, or cannot access files/databases remotely, allow employees to bring home paper files or other necessary work. Think of projects which can be worked on outside of the office (e.g., research projects).

Be Understanding
Above all else, be understanding. Not everyone has access to snow-ready vehicles or reliable transit routes, and school closures may impact child care responsibilities.

By utilizing these strategies you can remove the stress surrounding snow days and foster engagement.